she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
