Texts From Last Night

Texts from January, 2013

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.

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  (214): I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports. http://tfl.nu/apdh
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (156)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20

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  (734): Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20 http://tfl.nu/rssu
  Replies (5) Good night (298) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

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  (773): This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real. http://tfl.nu/vkv3
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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  (813): My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me. http://tfl.nu/3nzi
  Replies (8) Good night (780) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

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  (302): Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week... http://tfl.nu/cclg
  Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (622)
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  (951): View more from California

  I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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  (951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt
  Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?

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  (914): Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what? http://tfl.nu/ebld
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Is cereal technically a soup?

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck, I'm high.

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  (310): Is cereal technically a soup? (310): Fuck, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/od51
  Replies (9) Good night (1283) Bad night (215)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

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  (701): He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it http://tfl.nu/1dio
  Replies (5) Good night (244) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.

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  (207): It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night. http://tfl.nu/zq29
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.

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  (609): I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth. http://tfl.nu/4sxy
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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  (281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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  (562): It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which. http://tfl.nu/ynpd
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (140) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in

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  (989): Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in http://tfl.nu/tuaf
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (348)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

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  (920): I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset. http://tfl.nu/b5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt