Texts From Last Night

Texts from January, 2013

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
  Replies (7) Good night (919) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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  (815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.

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  (412): So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T. http://tfl.nu/y888
  Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them

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  (608): just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them http://tfl.nu/tyvr
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.

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  (910): 6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class. http://tfl.nu/7ju6
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (258)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."

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  (763): she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant." http://tfl.nu/1vw9
  Replies (7) Good night (349) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.

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  (419): I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina. http://tfl.nu/vhcx
  Replies (6) Good night (972) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..

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  (641): Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough.. http://tfl.nu/n0x6
  Replies (11) Good night (249) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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  (662): Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to http://tfl.nu/r6si
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (235)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.

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  (503): Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it. http://tfl.nu/rbw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play

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  (315): dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play http://tfl.nu/32t6
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.

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  (515): I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me. http://tfl.nu/axuf
  Replies (10) Good night (291) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.

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  (208): Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied. http://tfl.nu/8j3b
  Replies (6) Good night (674) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere

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  (310): Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/c0r9
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt