It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes