It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
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i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.