Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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