i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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