Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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