he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
