Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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