He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
