porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
