I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
