She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
