Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize