Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
