Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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