they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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