Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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