So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
