she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
