Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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