Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
