Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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