Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize