Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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