The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
