Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
