He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
