I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize