He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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