i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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