Someone shit on the floor
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am midnight drunk by noon
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
