Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
