Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
