Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize