I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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