Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
