And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
