Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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