I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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