Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
