just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dignity is for republicans.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
