I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
