He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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it means he gave head to a zebra, what the fuck else would it be?
This is obviously fake, the women is supposed to beat the meat!
I'm gonna guess that meat beater = meat tenderizer. Which is idiotic because no one should want to associate spiked hammers with masturbation.
meat beater = his penis