Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All the doctor said was why
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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