his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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