Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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