Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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