are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
