I want to make a zoo with you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
