sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
