Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
