Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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