Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
