Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
