He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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